I'm Back!

Alright. I'm back. Sorry it's been soooo long. Just haven't had the urge to write. Had some stuff to write about, just not the gumption. Or gumtion. One of the two. Whatever it is, I lacked it. But I'm here now, so here goes.

Christmas was GREAT! Loved having everyone over to celebrate. Enjoyed all the food (shocking, I know) and especially loved the gift exchange thingy. Can't remember the exact name right now. I think it was a Yankee gift exchange, but I'm not positive. Whatever it was called, it was fun. I was going to write another poem like I did last year, but I never did. Oh well.

The new year is going well. Work is a little slow, but it always is this time of year. It will pick up soon. I say it's going well, because I'm one of the only ones who hasn't gotten sick. The stomach bug that is going around arrived at the Mattia house last Saturday night. Aaron, as luck would have it, was sleeping in our bed. I was ripped from a dead sleep to the sound of Aaron crying "Daddy!!" No sooner did I frantically sit up, then he cried "Daddy!" one more time and ralphed all over me, the bed, the floor and the nightstand. It was fantastic. My first reaction, still being not even completely awake yet, was to put my hand over his mouth and run for the bathroom. Well, that didn't work out too well. You know when your using a hose without a spray nozzle on it, and you put your thumb over the opening to make it spray farther? Well, there ya go. No need to elaborate. Then, as if that wasn't enough. After he was done puking, he looks up and says, "I need to poop!" At this point I had already stripped him down because he had barfed all over his pajamas. So I hurry and sit him on the toilet and let those fireworks commence. Not even a minute later, he cries out again. "I gotta puke!" So I hurry and wipe his butt and and put him back in "worshipping the porcelain god" position, so he can finish what he had started earlier. Well, this back and forth routine went on for the next fifteen minutes or so. And all the while I'm standing there with puke all over me still. At that point Linda walks in. She already wasn't feeling well earlier, and this put her over the edge. She runs in the other bathroom and proceeds in the same manner as Aaron just did. Wow! What a night! And the worst part was we were planning to have a special Superbowl dinner with tacos and pizza and then watch the big game. Well, those plans were done. And poor Aaron. He was already on an antibiotic for an ear infection before all this. He couldn't take his medicine for two days because he couldn't keep it down. So we had to take him back to the doctor to start his antibiotic all over again. And this time, he also has an eye infection, so he also gets drops for his eyes. Poor kid, I felt so bad for him. I told him that if he wanted a pony, right now would be a good time to ask for one!

Now fast forward one week. Everyone is better. Not counting the fact that Aaron's antibiotic gave him diarrhea. Go figure. So last night we go to Matthew's banquet for Pop Warner. All the players sit together and the parents sit at separate tables. Matthew's table had already gotten their food and we were just sitting down with ours when one of his teammates runs up to our table. "Coach Mattia! Matthew just puked!" Ding! Ding! Let round two begin! So I go get him and take him to the bathroom to clean up. After that we leave to go back home. He was so embarrassed. We told him don't worry about it. This will be one of those stories you'll tell for years to come. "One time, I threw up at my football banquet!" Plus, these are all football players. They barf at practice all the time. it's no big deal. Heck, they all went right back to eating not even five minutes after Matthew did it! I was supposed to be up on stage calling out the names of all the kids who qualified for Scholastic All-American (including Matthew!) but under the circumstances, the President of the league gave me a pass. After we got home, I decided to go back and see if I could still do my job. Turns out I wasn't too late to announce some names. The only reason I mention this is because when I'm announcing and I get to Matthew's name, just for fun I ask "Has anyone seen Matthew? The same boy who came running up to tell us Matthew was sick yells out "I saw him puke!" Too funny. Anyway, Matthew apparently has a different bug or something because he's feeling better now. Only twenty four hours later.

Report cards were good. Collin and Matthew both made honor roll. Aaron did well too but they don't give out actual grades in kindergarten.

Izzy is doing well. By well, I mean large. Nine months and seventy-five pounds. Poor guy gets "altered" on Wednesday. I took him to a local retirement home a couple of weeks ago to continue our goal to have him be a therapy dog. The residents love him! So does the staff. They told me to bring him back after his surgery for another visit. We're hoping the "altering" will calm him down some. Easier to keep training that way. Plus no one wants to see a seventy-five pound golden humping grandma in the middle of a game of bingo. I'm pretty sure we wouldn't get invited back!

Well, that's all for now. Talk to you in another two months! Just kidding!

Matthew is a Rock Star!

Wednesday evening, we went to Matthew's Christmas concert at school. For those of you who don't know, he plays the drums. He managed to be selected "Percussion Leader" in the 6th grade band this year. He also learned to play the bells. That's what they call it. I think it's more of an xylophone. But anyway, Matthew really took it. So much in fact, that he learned some Christmas songs on his own by practicing them here at home. He played them for his instructor, and his instructor liked them so much, he told Matthew that during the brief intermission between the 6th grade and 7th grade concert, Matthew will now be playing a solo. Frosty The Snowman. Hence, the video. The first few seconds of it are cut off. Our camera sucks. You hit record, and like 10 seconds later it starts. Also, some lady steps in front of me and temporarily blocks the view. But you can still here him playing. And you can hear the roar of the crowd when he's done. I told him to kick the bells over and raise his fists in the air when he was done, but he didn't. I don't know how he expects to be a rock star without showing a little attitude, but whatever. He told us afterwards that he was so nervous that his knees were shaking! But I guess he summoned his inner Jimi Hendricks and pushed through it! Super proud of him. I warned him that life as he knew it was done. The chicks were going to be all over him now. But so far, no luck. I told him he should have kicked those bells over. Rock on dudes!

Great Sunday!

Boy did Aaron and I have a big day on Sunday! We snagged two tickets to the Redskins/Jets game at FedEx Field. Had a great time. Redskins lost, but what's new, right? Didn't make any difference. Had a fantastic time with my little buddy anyway. The tickets were awesome! Club level. Front row parking spot. And the price was very reasonable. Free, courtesy of Schell Brothers. That's the guys who did the Extreme Makeover house. They have four season tickets, and I got two of them this week.

Aaron was high fiving people around us when the Skins made a good play. And please, save your breath, I'll say it for you. "Not many high fives that day" I know, but it was still fun to watch. I think the best part was getting our picture with two of the Hogettes. Aaron had no idea what was going on. He kept asking me why those guys are dressed up like old ladies! Didn't even try explaining about offensive lineman, hogs, yadda, yadda, yadda. As far as he knows, him and dad went to a football game and got a picture taken with transvestite swine. Oh well. Being in this family, he'll learn what the Hogs were soon enough.

That was the first time I ever been to FedEx field. Very large, very LOUD. The 12th man was alive and well yesterday. I remember going to a few games at RFK, but that was YEARS ago. Back when they didn't suck so bad. In fact, they were actually quite good. Superbowl caliber if I recall. But I digress. I guess I'm just oozing burgundy and gold again. Somebody get me a towel.

Looking forward to seeing everyone in a couple of weeks!

Talk to you soon.

Christmas is Here

Well, here we go. The Christmas season has officially begun. We started setting the tree up (as you can see) Saturday afternoon after I got home from a job. Then we finished it Sunday after breakfast at Cracker Barrel. I'm still debating on whether or not to put up any lights outside this year. We usually put lights on all the trees down the driveway, but I'm not sure I'm feeling it this year. We'll see.

We really enjoyed seeing everyone Sunday morning. We definitely need to do that more often. The boys always have a good time with that. Matthew likes being in charge of all the names in the hat as well. Please don't forget to send along your wish list. I emailed ours yesterday. Check your emails. We are all looking forward to having everyone over this year. Still trying to figure out what will be on the menu. We'll figure it out soon.

In other news, this year's first report cards came home last week. Not too shabby. Collin and Matthew both made honor roll. Aaron did well also, but there's no honor roll in kindergarten! Proud of our boys.

Enjoying our time off. No practices during the week. No games on Saturdays. LOVE IT! I know it's short lived, but I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts. Well, that's all for now. Merry Christmas! Now go be jolly or something!

11/17/11 Update

Wow! It's been almost a month since I posted last? Holy cow. Well anyway, the latest football update is, we're done. Our 8-0 season is in the crapper. We lost to Laurel so we didn't get to go to regionals in New Jersey. But we still made the playoffs in the Henlopen conference, which is basically the whole state of Delaware. We had a first round bye for that tournament, but when we did play, we lost big. I think our boys were just done. Had enough. Ready to move on to other things. Holidays, girls, who knows. All I know is the team I saw play those last two games, was not the same team I saw the previous eight. No fire. Oh well. It was a good run.


In other news, the episode of Extreme Makeover Home Edition that we are in airs tomorrow night. That's Friday November 18th at 8:00. I'm pretty sure you won't see me on camera. I don't remember ever seeing cameras filming me, but I guess you never know. But you should definitely see our work. All the pimped out closets, that's us. Should be interesting to watch. I'm very curious to see how they play up the fact that the build happened right in the middle of Hurricane Irene. The state made them shut down the job for safety reasons during the storm. First time in the show's history that that has happened. Can't wait to watch.


And for the biggest news item, Collin turns thirteen Saturday. I think for the first time in my life, I don't know what to say. There is no possible way he's thirteen already! Oh, the fun years we have ahead of us. They say that your kids will repay you for all the bad stuff you did as a child. Luckily, I was a very good kid. Now Linda on the other hand? Well, I won't get into all that. I'll just say that I'm going to get paid back for all the bad stuff she did. Totally not fair.

Anyway, that's all for now. Oh wait. There is one more thing. I'm going to see if my writing stills wields the same power it did before. Here goes. Habitants of Princess Anne. I command you to come to Delaware for Thanksgiving. That is all.

Well, we'll see what happens!

Three Little Monkeys Sittin' In The Tree...

Ok. About a third of the wood is stacked. Ran out of daylight. And as promised, here are the boy's school pictures. Aaron kinda looks like an innocent little orphan. He looks like he's saying "Please take me home". Matthew, in case you can't tell, is wearing his New York Giants jersey. He was adopted. Collin, on the other hand, is wearing a Redskins t-shirt. Smart boy. But that hair. Sheesh. What a mop. He's since got it cut. He no longer looks like a founding member of The Monkeys. Although he does still like to monkey around. Sorry. Couldn't resist. Talk to you soon.

8-0 Baby!

Well, it's official. The Cape Vikings Pee Wees are 8-0! They beat Laurel today 16-0. Sixth shut-out of the season. We play again Saturday to see who is top dog in the state and moves on to regionals. Depending on who wins a game Wednesday night, we may play the same Laurel team again Saturday. We'll have to wait and see. Matthew blocked his tail off today. Really proud of him. If anyone wants to see some smash mouth football, be at Milford High School at 3:00 on Saturday. If you live in, oh I don't know, Maine, you may want to leave a little early to get there on time. If you can't make it, I'll let you know how it goes.

We got this year's school pictures for all the boys. I'll try to post them later tonight. Right now, I've got to go stack all the firewood I split last Sunday. If I don't get it all done today, I'll be hosting a wood stacking party tomorrow. All the fresh air and sunshine you can handle. Party starts promptly at 9:00 a.m. Bring a friend. Or two.

Interesting Week. And It's Only Thursday

Matthew's team won Saturday. We beat Milford 24-0. Our defense's fifth shut-out of the season. One game to go against arch rival Laurel. Laurel's pee-wee team hasn't lost a regular season game in like eleven seasons. They were the eastern region champs last season. The boys' goal is to be the team to break the streak. I'll let you know how it goes.



BREAKING NEWS!!



This just in. Collin's formerly underachieving football team (0-4 record) won their first game today! It wasn't pretty, but we'll take it. Hopefully this will give them some much needed confidence. We'll have to wait and see.


Tuesday I went on a field trip with Matthew to Philadelphia. We went to the Franklin Institute. Good trip, but a two and a half hour school bus ride, each way, with a bunch of sixth graders, it was a long day. The best part, for me anyway, was on the way there. We were still on I-76 and had just entered Philly. We were passing some pretty run down row houses. Graffiti on the buildings, old cars, trash, the usual. All the kids were looking out the windows when one of them yelled out, "Look, it's the ghetto!" I almost fell off my seat. You can really tell we live in the country.


One more story and I'll leave you alone. I promise. After dinner tonight, Aaron decided he wanted to play a game on the Wii. He picked out a game that he saw his brothers frequently play. You're an alien and you go around shooting all the humans. Not the most educational game in the world, but whatever. Anyway, he told Linda that he'll turn down the sound so he can't hear the bad words that they say in the game. Mind you, the rating on this game is teen, not mature. Linda asked him "What words do they say?" Aaron said "I can't say them. It's words that Daddy says". Ok. Now before you go on the "see I told you so" kick, the word they say is dumbass. Not the most offensive word I've ever used. In fact, it's kind of a term of endearment in our house. When one of the boys does something stupid that we all get a good laugh at, sometimes I'll say, jokingly of course, "You little dumbass!" And then we all laugh some more. I'm going to chalk it up to having all boys. I don't think a little girl would take her Dad calling her a little dumbass very well. But with boys, it's like "Yeah, I AM a little dumbass! Now who wants to pull my finger?"

Ok. I lied. I do have one more story. Not really a story. More of a gripe. Tuesday, after the field trip, Matthew and I were on our way to football practice. We were flicking through the stations, when I came across a slow song. It sounded familiar when I first heard it, so I stopped on it for a second. That's when we realized. It was a really bad version of Silent Night! That's right. Christmas music! It was Tuesday, OCTOBER 18TH!!! Are you kidding me?! It was like I was living in Bizarro World or something. Who in the world would want to listen to Christmas music in October? Don't get me wrong. I love Christmas music. We play it a lot in our house. But not until December! Hopefully the program manager of that station will look back in January, after listening to three months of Christmas music and say, "Man, that WAS a bad idea. Everyone was right. I really AM a dumbass." We can only hope. Happy Holidays everyone!!

Kickin' Butts and Humpin' Mutts

Ok. Time for an update. The last time I posted, the Cape Vikings were 4-0. Fast forward two weeks or so, and viola! 6-0. Two games to go. The boys are playing well. When I say "boys" I'm referring to Matthew's team. Collin's middle school team? Not so much. 0-3. Game number four in about two hours. This season has been a whole new experience for Collin. In school ball, unlike Pop Warner, there's no weight limit. Some of these boys, and I use the term "boys" lightly, that Collins is playing against are six feet something two hundred plus pounds. Some of them have mustaches. I think I saw one of Collin's teammates kiss his wife and kids goodbye before the last game. Then he drove them all home after the game in his SUV. Ok, maybe I exaggerate just a little, but you get my point. Kind of hard to throw the ball when you've got a six foot something tall, two ton wall of beef closing in on you from all sides. Oh, yeah. Did I mention nobody likes to block on Collin's team? Makes for a LONG day. Good experience for him though. He actually didn't do so well in their first game and his coach benched him and now he's second string QB instead of first. But I think he's feeling a little redeemed because the now starting QB is having the same issues Collin did. Nowhere to run, nowhere to throw! Oh well. It's only week four. There's still time for improvement.

In other news, Matthew once again qualified for Pop Warner Scholastic All-American. This year the banquet is being held at Walt Disney World instead of crappy old Chicago like last year. We didn't go to last year's in Chicago because, well, it's Chicago. Eeesh. No thanks. We'll have to see about this year's banquet. Disney World sounds mighty tempting. We've never taken the kids there. They REALLY want to go. We'll see. Depends on work and paying off some bills.


Izzy, the ever growing, constantly chewing, never stops running, and now as an added bonus, frequently humping, golden retriever is doing well. But man is he getting LARGE. Just shy of six months old and he's fifty-seven pounds. We thought we were safe as far as his size was concerned because the breeder told us that his dad was sixty-five pounds and his mom was sixty. Well, he's just three pounds shy of his mom's weight already. He'll probably put that on before I finish this post. I think we were dooped. We didn't get a golden retriever. We got a mutt. Half golden, half miniature pony. I'm going to start renting him out for kid's birthday parties. But seriously, the only bad thing right now is he's got the body of an adult, but the mind of a puppy. And no, Linda, that does not accurately describe me too. He'll do things just playing around, not realizing how strong, big and clumsy his is, and knock you on your butt. The other day, Linda was standing in the kitchen and Izzy walked up and stood behind her. I know you probably think this is where the humping comes in, but it's not. Sorry. Linda, not knowing he was even there, took a step back, fell over him, and dislocated her shoulder. Luckily, she was able to pop it back in place. Then two days later, he did the same thing to Dianne. Only without dislocating anything. Eventually, I'm sure he will grow into his body. Until then, if you come to our house, wear some football gear. You may need it.



Well, that's all for now. Have to get ready to go to Collin's football game. See ya!

Sweet Redemption

It's unbelievable that the Vikings regular season is half over already. Seems like it just started. Our record is 4-0. The boys look really good. We just got back from today's game and what a sweet victory it was. But first, a little history. If you recall, last season we played the team from Woodbridge ( see Football Heroes October 28, 2010) and they were the nastiest, dirtiest team we ever faced. And they kicked our butts, 21-0. After a year of brewing over that loss, our boys got to face them again today. Except today's game was at our field, with very different results.
Cape 24 Woodbridge 6. Boy that felt good. We scored on our opening drive and never looked back. We get to enjoy this win until Tuesday (that's our next practice) then it's on the road to Smyrna. If you also recall, they are the team that beat us last year in the playoffs and ended our season. Going into today's game, they were also 3-0. Not sure if they won today or not. regardless, they are the hardest team we have faced so far this season. I'll let you know how it goes.

In other news, Aaron is enjoying school. What he is not enjoying is his seasonal allergies. Poor kid. Coughin' and hackin'. Every night for the last three nights when I put him to bed, it's been the same thing. Lay down. Cough, cough, cough. Gag, gag,gag. Jump up out of bed. Barf. It's been a real adventure. Luckily, he's only blown chunks in his bed once. And we go through this two or three times a night before he falls asleep. Spring and fall are great fun at our house. Linda gets the seasonal allergies, too. She gets to coughing so hard, she pulls muscles in her back. Anyway, I'm sure you don't care about allergies and spewing fluids. This blog was not created to talk about medical conditions and secretions. It was created to inform and influence people. Perhaps even magically brainwash people into doing what I say. One example. A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned in a post that people from the Princess Anne area should come to Salisbury to watch a football game. I gave an exact time and everything. Little did I know the power of my writing. People from Princess Anne showed up in droves. Droves, I tell you. There was at least two of them. Incredible. The power of the written word. I must be careful with my posts in the future. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. Or something like that. By the way, I want a representative from the Delaware Lottery to show up at my house tomorrow and give me a check for the winning Powerball numbers. It is written.