A Christmas Story

'Twas the week before Christmas, when the family came to visit.
For laughter, joy, and cheer. And cornbread most exquisite.
I sat in the recliner, with Ma on my lap.
To spend time with family, and all that good crap.
Great stories were a plenty, the laughs all grew louder.
We all gorged ourselves on habanero corn chowder.
When we all finished eating all the grub we could bear
That's when we realized, the Pleffner's weren't there.
But where could they be? What could cause such a fuss?
But then we all thought "Hey, more cheesecake for us!"
But alas they arrived, and our gifts we exchanged.
Then Tom proposed something that sounded quite strange.
A Yankee gift exchange, what fun!
When it's O.K. to be selfish.
You don't like your present? Just take someone else's!
Candles for Pop Pop? Pringles for Zack?
Andy stole my beef jerky. But I soon stole it back.
Spongebob on golf balls. "Chalk, chalk, chalk" someone chants.
And what happens in the pants, stays in the pants.
But with our bellies all full, and our gifts all in hand.
It was time to draw a close to this party so grand.
What a great time we had. So sad to see it end.
But next Christmas we'll do it all over again.
And I heard Karen say, as we drove off in our truck.
"Thank God they're all gone! Now who the hell's cleaning up?"



Merry Christmas, Y'all!