R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Alright, I have to tell this story. Linda will probably kill me when she reads it, but whatever.

Now I can say this about Linda. She runs a tight ship. Sun up till sun down, she's on the ball. And our home and our family is better for it. June Cleaver on steroids, if you will. (minus the pearls.) Now with that drill sergeant mentality, it's only natural that she demands a little respect, from not only me, but especially from the boys. Lord help you if you dis' June. It's on. Not even Ward can save you then. Which brings me to my story.

Yesterday, we still had family visiting for Easter. So in the morning, there was our three boys as well as their cousins Kristopher and Cara. All the kids decided they wanted to go outside. Nice day for it. One problem. Our boys know the rules. If Aaron wants to go out, you have to be the big brothers and take him with you. Well they decided to just grab their shoes and go. Linda started calling them. "Boys! Boys!" she called.... Nothing. She proceeded to put Aaron's shoes on, growing more frustrated by the minute. You have to understand one thing. Three days with Collin, Matthew, Aaron, and Kristopher in the same house, and something's gonna give. And it gave. Linda took Aaron outside and found the boys playing under one of our trees in the front yard. She also found our neighbor outside of her house working on her yard. No matter. I guess she thought if they hadn't moved by now, then they must be used to it. So once again she called, only a little louder this time. They were all the way across the yard, after all. "BOYS!!!" ...Nothing. So a little louder. BOYYYSSS!!! ....Again, nothing. Now they've done it. They've awoke the sleeping giant. David Banner is about to go green on their little butts. She bellows in a Hulk Hogan-esk voice. ( "The Hulk-a-maniacs are gonna get ya, brother!!") BOYYYSSS!!!, she yells. Finally, they look up at her. Then she let's it fly. "When I call "boys" , if you've got a penis, you better answer me!" Well, that got their attention. And the neighbor's as well. Little boys hate when you refer to "that" in public. It's like kryptonite is to Superman. Anyway, they decided to not only answer her, but to come to where she was standing and find out what she wants. Mission accomplished. Order restored. Respect earned. End of story.

So if you're wondering how a seemingly timid woman consistently defeats attempts at anarchy in a house full of males, there you have it. Oh, she just called me. If I want to keep mine, I better go see what Colonel Cleaver wants. I hope it's not those pearls.